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Opinion “Legal Madness” Part II: |
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Check your speakers! |
![Text Box: Trust me I’m a Lawyer!
The question forum where no request for legal service is off limits especially when posed by beautiful models!
Yo Habla Espanol
Luke is your current attorney
Legal disclaimer: My Bar Dues are currently past due and that’s why I’m working this forum
Mr. Luke
This is Macy:
Q: and my question is this: Can I sue my ex-husband for loss of consortium and if so can I pay my legal fee’s in trade? I’m currently staying at the Palace Station in the same room where O.J. got busted. I hope to see you soon!
Mr. Luke
This is Margo:
Q: My mother told me I was born with a cigarette in my mouth. Can I sue the tobacco companies for hereditary pre-natal disorder? Oh and can I take pay my legal fee’s in trade? Thank you for your time. I’m staying at Binion’s. The Hotel is closed now so you must take the cargo elevator to the penthouse and then knock three times on room 17. It’s really quiet up there. I have a great view of city hall and the best part is the Rent if FREE! I hope to see you soon!
Mr. Luke
This is Monique
Q: I’m a nude model from France. I heard that you fried a case where you played a video in open court of a model frolicking in the nude for like twenty minutes. As you might be aware Paris is quite liberal in some respects like tolerance for nudity, mistresses and Muslim ghettos but they would never allow a nude tape to be played in court like here in Las Vegas. What can I do to elevate my career through the playing of my very own nude tape in open court in Vegas? It would mean a lot if you could help me. I’m currently staying at the Sahara. The Hotel is closed so you must take the cargo elevator to the penthouse. I have a great view of the Stratosphere and the occasional jumper. Traci the watchman will show you the way just tip her a twenty or some free advice and you’ll be on your way. Oh and do you take trades in exchange for payment? Thank you for your time and I hope to meet you soon.
Mr. Luke
This is Myra
Q: I was watching the British television show “This Morning” when Chelsea Charms appeared with her adjustable fifty pound breasts. She like I opted for the procedure that gave us both polypropylene breast enhancements also known as the string breast implants which allows my implants to absorb fluids and expand resulting in continuous growth after surgery like watering your Chia pet. My bust size like Lucky Charms I mean Chelsea Charms is now 164XXX [120] and also like her I can longer reach the table to eat due the voluminous size of my knockers. Can I sue the plastic surgeon since this procedure is now banned by the FDA and my doctor should have known that I would attempt to overcompensate for my low self esteem by pumping up my chest. I am staying at the El Cortez in Las Vegas and spending much time in bed to conserve my energy due to my involuntary eating disorder. The accompanying photo is from before my surgery. Do you accept trades for your service? I hope to meet you soon. Salvador or Sal is my friend and works the half penny slots. He can direct you to my suite. I hope to meet you soon.
Mr. Luke
This is Myrna
Q: I am transgender woman and consented to sexual reassignment surgery because my lover encouraged me to do so. Now he has left me for another woman who incidentally was borne as a woman and now I’m stuck with all of these bills. With the cutbacks of social services here in San Francisco because they are subsidizing all of these undocumented workers I may have to pay for my own medical expenses as they claim it was an elective surgery. There was nothing elective about it. I needed those sixty procedures including the shaving of my adam’s apple to make my relationship work. Can I sue my boyfriend for loss of consortium, desertion and forcing me into bankruptcy? I heard that in the court system in Las Vegas I can get an even shake or shake down. I will be in town next week and staying with Steve. He’s a wonderful compassionate human with a zest for living and for asking the hard questions of Mayoral candidates. Thank God for free lance reporters and true friends like him! I will call you once I get settled. I heard you take on the hard cases including personally attacking your opponents to shame them in open court, score points with the judge, and force such vermin to settle for huge paper judgments. Luke you’re just the kind of man I’m looking for in a lawyer and a boy.
Mr. Luke
This is Myrtle
Q: I am a hermaphrodite plumber living here in Las Vegas. My story will be profiled on the upcoming Life after Money series part IV Credit and Debt. I realize that purists believe that hermaphrodites were born with both female and male sex organs as in rumors circulating about a newly famous female singer who likes to freak people out with her innumerable looks. My story is different as I was borne as a male and am currently making the conversion to female. I have breast implants and acrylic nails but still carry a package and now due to the economic situation people aren’t fixing their plumbing anymore but are using busted pipes as an excuse to move out of the house. I’m out of money mid sex change. Can I sue the Clark County Commission for leaving me top heavy and not implementing some sort of moratorium on this crazy growth turned horror story like my life? I depended on them to deliver. After all we union studs I mean vixens stacked more boxes I mean tables and chairs to insure a complete Democratic stranglehold on our town for generations not yet born in debt. I am currently staying at Hooters where I don’t stick out. Please come on over and we can talk. My friend Shedini used to work here and showed me all of the trap doors if you will. One of her magician balloon animal clown friends went up the river on a kiddie porn beef. I hope she’s okay! I tip the maid five bucks and she lets me into a new room each day and then blocks it as occupied in the computer. If you need a place to live I’m sure she would do the same for you. Can we work out a trade? I pray for your reply!
A: Thank you for all of the previous questions and requests. I don’t take these matters lying down and want to get on top of your cases just as soon as I collect on some perfected judgments where I was forced to sue my own clients for past due legal fees and I must also collect on some paper judgments worth millions or at least that is what I told my clients. Now some of these deadbeats have moved out of state forcing me to make mean phone calls to their relatives and If I want to be paid I have to drive around the country to collect on my own work but if I brake the law with coercive tactics like in California, New Mexico Texas or Utah, which is where I think they really live although I heard they recently purchased a block of condos for a song after driving through the entire state of Florida now settling in Miami part time and along the way introduced themselves to Dr. Azam and Dr. Zieman; although the docs didn’t recognize them both physicians were so impressed with their credentials that they wanted to leave the country. Anyway to make a long reply even longer if I continue my bad legal habits I could serve time in the big house filing appeals for Bubba and his death row friends which is my forte, filing appeals that is, not hanging out with Bubba. Thanks for the Love and I will get cracking as soon as I locate my favorite inflatable traveling companion.
L
America-A Horse With No Name-1972.1
*& her alter egos: Ariane Glon Art of TG and Art of AG as “Bambi Baylee”
Chow Chow for now!](index_files/image482.gif)
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Legal Madness Part II Hillbilly Heaven in the Land of Jackpot Justice Artistic Sequence 1. Uriah Heep ~ The Best of Uriah Heep 2001.4 Lady in Black 2. Linkin Park ~ A Thousand Suns 2010.5 When they Come for Me 3. 38 Special ~ 38 Special 2011.1 Teacher, Teacher 4. Blue Man Group ~ The Complex 2003.2 Time to Start 5. John Prine ~ Lost Dogs and Mixed Blessings 1995.2 Ain’t Hurting Nobody 6. Steve Ivey ~ Blue Grass Gospel 2010.1.4 At the Crossroads 7. James Taylor ~ Greatest Hits 1972.5 Country Road 8. Alison Krause & Union Station ~ Live 2002.2.2 The Boy Who Wouldn’t Hoe Corn 9. Doobie Brothers ~ World Gone Crazy 2010.11 Law Dogs 10. Billie Sheehan ~ Rattlesnake Guitar/Music of Peter Green 1997.2.1 Oh Well 11. Crystal Bowersox ~ Farmer’s Daughter 2010.1 For What it’s Worth 12. Creedence Clearwater Revival ~ Chronicle 1976.16 I heard it through the Grapevine 13. John Hiatt and Waylon Jennings ~ Waylon 2011.7 Just to Satisfy You 14. Jethro Tull ~ Original Masters 1985.1 Living in the Past 15. ZZ Top ~ Live from Texas 2008.10 Blue Jean Blues 16. Eric Clapton and Steve Winwood ~Live from Madison Square Garden 2009.2.9 Cocaine 17. Camel ~ Never Let Go 1993.2.1 Dust Bowl 18. America ~ A Horse with no Name 1972.1 A Horse with no Name 19. Steven Curtis Chapman ~ Greatest Hits 1997.3 The Great Adventure |
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